On the Couch : Jim Reid
Kitty Empire / NME
23.05.1998
23.05.1998
| What song describes you best? | |
| "Probably 'Some Weird Sin' on 'Lust For Life' by Iggy Pop. It's about a bloke that doesn't feel like he belongs anywhere." | |
| What's your idea of heaven? | |
| "Being marooned on a desert island for a year, just me and a fridgeful of beer and a big pile of books and a hammock." | |
| What is hell? | |
| "Hell is getting the job of household whore with Warner Brothers Records." | |
| What is your earliest memory? | |
| "I remember standing underneath a horse and staring at this big horse's dick. I was quite small, three at the time." | |
| What is your greatest fear? | |
| "Dying in bed with 17 pygmy hookers." | |
| Who is your all-time hero? | |
| "It's naff as hell to say, but someone like Mahatma Gandhi." | |
| What's the worst trouble you've been in? | |
| "I once got arrested in Canada. I smacked somebody in the front row of the gig we were playing. I had to go back a couple of months later for a hearing; it was all agreed beforehand that I'd give the Salvation Army about $5,000 so that I'd get let off with a clean record. Afterwards the judge apparently wanted my autograph for his grandaughter." | |
| Who was the first love of your life? | |
| "A girl in my primary school called Helen Finlayson. But she didn't know. I used to just stare at her and dribble." | |
| What is your greatest talent? | |
| "Beer drinking." | |
| Who would you most like to exact revenge upon, how and why? | |
| "Teachers at school. They had this young kid that had imagination and instead of giving me some solid footing to go out and face the world, they just stomped on my individuality. I'd get all my teachers and put them on Mastermind." | |
| What's your most treasured possession? | |
| "I don't think I treasure any possessions that much." | |
| What do you most regret doing while drunk? | |
| "I went to a party once and got incredibly drunk. I was gonna vomit and I thought, 'I'm not going to be one of these people that vomits behind the sofa'. So I threw up in this plastic bag. I was really proud, so I was stumbling around showing people. But it had this hole in the bottom and was dribbling all over everybody. All of a sudden the room was empty." | |
| What can you cook? | |
| "Not a lot. I've got a microwave which does my cooking for me." | |
| What's the best piece of advice you've received? | |
| "Don't ever wear a Celtic top in Ibrox." | |
| If you were invisible for a day, what would you do? | |
| "I'd go to Buckingham Palace and watch the Queen take a shit." | |
| What are your final three wishes? | |
| "That little alien blokes would come and govern the planet and make everybody be nice to each other. And that they would bring many drugs with them, with no ill effects. And that I would be given a licence to kill." | |
